school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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