You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
