wrigley field is MILF paradise
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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