I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize