Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
