Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
