You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You did what with his pubic hair?
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