names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
