Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize