beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
