You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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