and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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