I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
