I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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