i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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