i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
