Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
