why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
