I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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