omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
