why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
