Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
