Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
