It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize