Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There r osticjed everywhere
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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