What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I need to align my fucking chakras
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
