Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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