she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
