i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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