i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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