pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
