they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
