my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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