You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
