Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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