i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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