What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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