I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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