We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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