You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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