It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
