Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think a kid would responsible me up
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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