Im at strip club and am horny
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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