Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
this will be a night to untag.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
