Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize