Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
