i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
