My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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