sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
