Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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