so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
