Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
