do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
