I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
