I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
