yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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