It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
