We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
