He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
