ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There are leaves in my underwear?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
