suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
