sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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