covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
